This thread is like a monologue for someone..

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Shhh...someone's trying to rack up his total number of posts.

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Yea yea... You can add up yours in here too!

Fireman Sex

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and were on the fire truck ready to go.

From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked. When say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night. The next night he came home from work and yelled, BELL 1 The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

When he yelled BELL 2, the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled BELL 3, they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled BELL 4 What the hell is BELL 4? asked the husband?

ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, she replied, YOURE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.

Blonde paint job

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The mans wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"Youre finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "thats not a Porch, its a Ferrari."

The Sucker

A man is out walking in the hills when he sees a woman standing on the edge of a cliff.She is very upset and crying loudly.

What are you doing up here, said the man.

I’m going to kill myself, replied the woman.

Well, before you do, what about giving me a blowjob? said the man.

The woman proceeds to give him the best blowjob he can remember.

Anyway, why do you want to kill yourself? asks the man.

Because my family have disowned me for dressing up as a woman.’

Left Leg

What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?

Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

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*yawn*

we can google for jokes ourselves you know, it'll be more relevant to the site if you can create some original ones yourself or at the very least find some with local flavours/topics. Just a friendly suggestion.

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Haha... Just an entertainment to read. No offense too! *sneeze*

YOu want my honest opinion?

The jokes are getting distasteful.